Do something about it!

Art by : Yin-Yang Drawing - Yin-Yang Fine Art Print - Scarlett Royal via http://fineartamerica.com

I am due to birth in a month, I had it all set up in my mind – our new house, children playing out in the yard with the pets, and my lovely hubby holding the camera while I free-birth our beautiful baby boy / girl / twins to the world. We all rejoice, clap hands, and say a thanksgiving prayer before our beautiful life goes on as usual, only now we’re a family of 5.

“Err, no!” says the Universe.

My hubby has been overseas, in the Caribbean, on business for much of my pregnancy. Being a woman I been on him to get his visa ready since July already, and he, being a man, would say to me “nah don’t worry babe, I will be there”. Well, he mightn’t be! He is not a resident of South Africa or Jamaica, so no embassy is willing to assign him even a transit visa. Looks like he is NOT going to make it after all. Poof goes my fantasy!

I feel angry, I wanna cry – I do in fact. I tell him I told him! I’m thinking about my current situation - staying with my mama, there is no space for the kids and I as it is! Where are the kids going to sleep? Kicking them out of the bed for a baby might give them feelings of loss and jealousy? My mother is a medical professional, I fear she might feel a need to turn my beautiful free-birth into an emergency, sending me all this crippling fear-anxiety-stress-tension energy that I felt at my first medically assisted birth, and avoided at my second free birth. My mind’s racing in a 1000 different directions, but I know if I am to get through this, I can’t focus on any of that. So, what do I focus on?

I wanted to go all out, calling people who might know people who know people with connections. Put pressure on them to make sure my beau is here for me, for us, but then I thought, “Why”? Really!

Is “doing something about it” really going to help with anything? I mean I already have 2 good, strong men going all out trying to make sure I am not alone at the time of birth, so why am I doubting them, doubting the situation, doubting God(dess)? Maybe I think I’ll do a better job? Am I still seeking masculine solutions to satiate my Feminine? I need spiritual solutions! I need peace, intuition, imagination, optimism, trance and ritual, power.

I know that to many, and in the recesses of my own conditioned mind, I compare this to people who would rather pray in church instead of going out there and “doing something about it”. But who says I am not “doing something about it”?! If I call and ball and do all of this, it will just lead to a case of "too many chefs in the kitchen", because, as I’ve mentioned, 2 competent men are already on top of it trying their very best to resolve this.

I need to play a different role if I am to be of any assistance, of any value here. Why replicate the Masculine effort when I know for fact that the Yang doesn’t function on its own?

What I need, what we need, is some Feminine awakening, some juju and Yin magic. Some hope, trust and faith, assistance from the Higher Power.

Today being Friday, I decide the River, the resting place of Mama Oshun, is the place to go. And I am realising, I AM "doing something about it", in fact, I am doing a lot about it! Even Science has proven that all reality is energy, and that we can shift this energy / reality with the Feminine arts.

I choose to re-member the Feminine essence in all things, people and events. I choose to use it as my Yin mind, body emotions and spirit are equipped to do. I choose to recall that although Masculinity, Yang and external action are sacred, important and necessary, so are the subtler, mysterious, more magical sides to Creation. This is the place the Goddess governs, the place where my female nature gives me great advantage!

So, I pray, I visualize the greatest outcome for all of us, I collect oranges and honey for Mama Oshun, for myself!

I create the greatest life for us in my psychic, spiritual womb.

And you know what, even if I birth without him there, so what?! Yemaya Auset will be there, HetHru Oshun will be there, Maat and Sekert and all the Mothers who have birthed before me will be there, "woman’s intuition" will be there! So why should any of this threaten or disturb my peace?! It doesn’t make sense and I am done blaming the Masculine for it!!

Breathe, I am peaceful

Now, please excuse me ... I’ve got an appointment by the River...